The Good Stuff

UC's hidden gem: their greenhouse above the biology department. 

Now, this isn't a fashion post, but a lot has been going on lately that I felt the need to document the past few weeks/months. These weeks have been unlike any other. I have felt immense joy and immense pain. I didn't think it was possible to feel or see so much sorrow in so little time, to be moved and inspired, to see a different side of yourself-sides you love and sides you hate, sides you didn't know existed. As much as I love to write, it would take me a book's worth to tell you what has happened in the past few months... A death of a childhood friend one week, a death of my best friend's father, the next. It's not like I've never felt pain before, but I don't think it's been one thing after the next as it has been recently. With all that said, with everything my loved ones and I have been hit with, I have never been more reassured. I'll be honest, I am nowhere near reassured about this life--this life hurts. There's so much confusion, worry, stress, heartache, etc. And let me say that as I am only a few weeks away from my COLLEGE graduation (what?!), the uncertainty couldn't feel more heightened than it does now. I don't list all the negatives of this life to demonstrate my hate for it; I love life. I have been blessed with so much love, joy, and beauty. It's everywhere. There's so much good, but there is still "bad," present. And that's why I can't say I feel comfortable every day amidst all the good. I have fears to the max, maybe more than ever right now, being in my awkward 20s, "figuring out life" stage. 

It's funny; I started writing this and went away from it for a few days. Within those few days, a professor of mine started discussing the idea of being "uncomfortable," which I thought was perfect timing given that I had just touched on that idea two sentences before this. She was discussing that all social activists have this mantra... to always be uncomfortable because the minute they're feeling "comfortable" with the world around them, they are no longer doing their job. There's always going to be something wrong with the world around us, something we feel prompted to stand up for, or stand against. This mantra goes for all of us. The minute any of us feel content means we've stopped caring. We've stopped pursuing, stopped growing, stopped feeling something, honestly. Now, this doesn't mean you need to live in anxiety or fear, but what it means is that being uncomfortable is normal and even healthy. It's our motivator.

That being said, with all of the uncomfortable-ness and lack of assurance, I am reassured about the life beyond this earthly one. Amidst these trials, God has been there. He's always there. I know that and will continue to trust that. These recent times have only clarified that belief. I was screwing up and He had my back, He protected me, even when I blatantly had been defying Him--saying no to His way and "yes" to all of mine. I feel stupid for ever having those moments, but let's face it, I'll have them again. And when I do, I'll be forgiven. I'm forgiven before I even ask for His forgiveness. I'm not sure how that's even fair or why He allows me so much grace and mercy, but dang it, I'm so grateful for it. 

To bring all of this blabbering full circle, I'll leave you with a few last thoughts: 1) God is so real and so good 2) Life hurts a lot of the time but, 3) there's growth within the hurt and if you let it, it can transform into something amazing. 

These photos are a few things that helped redirect my focus into a more positive one. Thanks for reading and I hope you stay encouraged. <3

The most beautiful experience hearing Walk The Moon live at Bogart's Cincinnati with my dear friend, Alyse. 

My pretty friend, Megan who takes all my photos using my iPhone! One day I'm going to get her to muster up the courage to let me dress her up and blog about her. I love ya.

A little more piercing rebellion with my blondes (this hurt like a mother).

Thank you, God. 

A new discovery: Mirror Lake at Eden Park. How I've never discovered this treasure before, who knows. Cincinnati Parks is a great resource to discover the beauty within Cincy. 

Sun rays do wonders for my niece, Azirae. Look at this sweet peach... nothin' prettier. 

An atypical Easter that included mexican and margaritas with my gal, Sarah outside of Nada.